Water Sprite in the Fountain

Last week at work was a weird one. Not for me personally; that was pretty well business as usual. I mean for the library as a whole. A bunch of bizarre things happened, the guards were kept hopping and it wasn’t even a full moon. First, there were a few separate drunken patron incidents. That’s not the unusual part, happens all the time.* The first real shenangin was the water sprite. That’s what I call him. One of our homeless patrons got duded up on all his duds (minus underpants) for his trip to the library. All that clothing got heavy and started to droop, way down. Instead of asking at the reference desk how to fashion a belt, he began to frolic in the reflecting pool on the first floor. Let me just say, that water is loaded with chemicals. We’re all surprised his skin didn’t melt off. But it didn’t and he refused to leave the pool. The only reason he got out voluntarily is he heard one of our security gates go off and thought we were electrifying the pool. At this point in the story, everyone says, “Yeah, I wish.” Anyhoo, he did get out and was escorted out by the police. Our head guard would later report, “He was half naked and not the good half.” The next unusual happenstance was the corpse of a (former) patron found in the park behind the library. He was last seen tottering out after having refused medical attention.
* It must be a proud moment in your life to get booted from the public library for being trashed.